Procrastination: Some thoughts
on Resistance
Procrastination is a gift. It is a gift
that is like a neon road sign direct from Las Vegas baby. You are avoiding
something to be done, you are late, you are too busy, and it’s all about the
‘not doing’. The road sign is telling you that something is not right. Why else
would you do everything possible to not be in the flow, be stressed or unhappy.
Why would you do that to yourself?
What is the flow? For me, it’s that feeling you have when it’s
all working out; the lights in the street agree to be green as soon as you pass
them, you arrive at the dentist and they are waiting for you, your taxes are
done, and it didn’t feel like a big deal, you even got your snow tires off
before it hit 30 degrees. I mean, you are in the flow, and things feel right.
You aren’t rushing or late, you just show up, you arrive not hassled and
apologetic. You haven’t forgotten anything vital to your next meeting. It’s a
state we all aspire to, reach at times, but more likely the slippery slope of
procrastination greats you ever so often, or for some, really often. This is
true for all of us.
How do I get that flow?
More importantly, how do I manage these blocks and patterns that I
see in myself? How do I manage the thoughts that make me feel like if I
don’t have a handle on my own procrastination, perhaps I'm not a good enough
coach? I think that the answer is the same for both me and my clients.
But first, I’d like to point out that many
of us coaches are entrepreneurs, and creativity is an essential part of the character
and core skill set needed as entrepreneurs. But the same holds true for those
that are employed as coaches. We all use our creative energy as coaches because
essentially, the co-creative process of coaching requires that we use imagery,
metaphors and our imagination to coach successfully.
Creative people experience creative blocks;
generously lumped into the ‘procrastination bucket’. Steven Pressfield in The
War of Art calls it resistance. I am a card-carrying member of my very own
procrastination brigade specializing in resistance. Being coached has shown me
how very hard it is to maintain my ‘sweet spot’ of flow, and the humbling
realization of how hard my clients work at getting out of their own way.
So the answer to procrastination is also a
little reminder for my self and my clients. The first step is to deal. Look
it straight in the face, see it for what it is, even if it’s not a shining
example of my best moment. Then step back and realize I'm not alone in
this. It’s a small comfort I know, but at least with practice, I'll have more
compassion for myself and others. The point is to not spiral into the negative slippery-slope of
frustration and self recrimination.
Then, when I realize I'm imperfect and
accept it, realizing that trying to be an ideal or ‘perfect’ version of 'me'
is highly unrealistic. The reality; it’s attainable some of the time, and with
practice I can get better, but expecting myself to always keep it together
is a sure way to let myself down.
I have managed to dig deep and see why
I'm avoiding certain tasks. I realized it was two factors; one
was my sense of self worth was allowing my fear to gum up my flow. I really think
this is a hidden problem of confidence, because courage is confidence in
action. Second, (and this is a big one) my commitment to myself is apparently
spotty; it needs a tune-up big time!
There is more to procrastination, but being
compassionate with myself is a first step.
Teaching my clients to forgive their
short-comings, yet encouraging them to dig deeper into their patterns will help
them break through. Yes, I can procrastinate and be a great coach, especially
because when I tap into my humanity, humility and empathy as a coach.
Note: the original post I wrote for ICF Quebec, I have modified it here for the purpose of this Blog
