Saturday, May 15, 2010

You Have to Feed the Fish

You Have to Feed the Fish

My heart is landing somewhere
I am listening to the walls
So I float through a door
in my search
what are the whispers saying?

I am adrift on this raft, out at sea
so alone, so isolated, without comfort,
Will I find the port in the storm
match the missing mitten on a cold day
remember the galoshes or the muddy puddles
I have an intense hunger
it says,
You have to feed the fish, you have to water the plants.

The alarm goes off and one can press reset
sleep a little longer,
but in the end you get up to face the day, when
your love has flown its migratory path half way around the world it needs to rest,
it needs a soft landing.
It wants to exhale,
to build a home,
every twig of experience gathered with care
Finding the right tree,
singing a duet to greet the morning sky
nurturing enough to perch perfectly and see past the trees

I need to go into the place
where I dismantle the need
find that place
Find the power
You're controlling it and I exclaim:
Are you kidding me?

I am a tropical fish
delicate but sturdy
I need constant flow, a soft current
I need warm waters and food and care
Fed by your gentle fingers, gentle, strong, consistent
How could I loose something I never really had
as I reach out,
I don't want it to slip though those fingers
meant for touching, caressing
I hold onto the idea,
but watch the space begin to grow, neglect
stretching the nuances, a distraction
like the drilling bit lost in the concrete
fantasy, of the You and the I finding each other

I'm lucky to feel this love, I'm lucky
to feel anything
really. I want you to explore the
terrain of my heart and plant your flag,
and stake a claim, pierce
me, possess me, then tether me and
I will always find my
way back home.

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